| Although you might have taken a course in public | | | | long as the majority of your conversation remains |
| speaking or hired a speech coach, it isn't likely that | | | | positive and cheerful. |
| you have gone through training for becoming a | | | | FOURTH: Speak in sound bites, not in filibusters. |
| sought-after conversation partner. That's | | | | Keep in mind the old adage, "When holding a |
| unfortunate, because conversations play a significant | | | | conversation, be sure to let go of it once in awhile." |
| role in our personal and professional success. Consider | | | | Mistakenly, most long winded talkers assume they |
| how extensively one-on-one conversations impact | | | | are charming their listeners as they ramble on for |
| our lives: | | | | several minutes without inviting the other person to |
| *Asking someone to marry us | | | | respond. All of us know from experience as bored |
| *Talking with our children about their adolescent | | | | listeners that motor mouths emit more harm than |
| problems | | | | charm. |
| *Dining with a potential employer | | | | One sure way to shift the conversation is to ask |
| *Finding out what a medical diagnosis really means | | | | close-ended questions, such as: "Jerry, please tell me |
| *Meeting the new family next door | | | | your opinion about the situation I have just |
| Now look at these seven ways to make your | | | | described." |
| conversations click. | | | | FIFTH: Establish common ground quickly. |
| FIRST: Talk with yourself before you talk with | | | | You have a real advantage when you meet an |
| others. | | | | executive for the first time in her office. Look |
| Yes, before attempting to converse with someone | | | | around, and you're likely to spot a clue for opening |
| else, give yourself a pep talk first. These three | | | | the conversation. |
| sentences could achieve what you need--a quick | | | | "I see you're president of Rotary. What's your major |
| boost in confidence: | | | | community involvement this year?" |
| "I enjoy conversations, because they help me | | | | "Looks like your family takes ski vacations. Have you |
| strengthen relationships with others." | | | | taken one this winter?" |
| "I don't have anything to be nervous about, because | | | | Right away, you have helped the executive enter |
| people enjoy talking with me." | | | | the conversation on one of her favorite topics. |
| "I'm sure I'll learn something valuable from this | | | | SIXTH: Verbally indicate your desire to hear more. |
| person." | | | | Just as actors respond to cues, your professional |
| SECOND: Become well informed on a variety of | | | | associates will welcome your prompts. |
| topics. | | | | "Interesting, please tell me more about your trip" |
| Maybe you're not fond of NASCAR racing, but your | | | | "I see. And then what happened next?" |
| best client attends several races a year and watches | | | | "Hmmm. That must have upset you." |
| most of the others on TV. Learn the names of this | | | | SEVENTH: Keep the focus on the other person. |
| year's leading drivers, and you can establish quick | | | | Maybe you heard the quip that a gossip talks about |
| rapport next time you're together by asking your | | | | other people, a bore talks about himself, and a brilliant |
| client who his racing heroes are. | | | | conversationalist talks about you. So to impress |
| Also, keep up with the major news stories every | | | | someone with your conversational skills, keep the |
| day, because you might be asked about them when | | | | spotlight away from yourself and on that person. |
| you chit chat over lunch with a top-tier executive. | | | | Benjamin Disraeli said, "A man will listen to you all day |
| This goes for local news as well as national and | | | | long if you talk with him about himself." |
| international events. | | | | Conversations, especially with people we have just |
| THIRD: Use upbeat language. | | | | met, may seem intimidating, because we know they |
| Follow the advice of the popular musical South Pacific: | | | | play a central role in shaping our image. Ironically, you |
| "Happy talk, keep talking happy talk. Talk about | | | | don't become known as a great conversationalist |
| things you like to do." | | | | because you can talk endlessly for an hour or more. |
| Think back to the last time you started a | | | | The formula for success is simple. Believe that others |
| conversation with "How are you doing today?" and | | | | will want to converse with you. Become well |
| then heard someone groan about the status of their | | | | informed on a variety of current topics, demonstrate |
| health, stock market losses, loud dog next door, and | | | | that you are genuinely interested in another person's |
| the bad weather. Would you want to talk with that | | | | opinion, get that individual talking quickly about her |
| person again today? Probably not. | | | | major interest, and put check reins on your tendency |
| This doesn't call for you to become evasive or | | | | to monopolize the chatter. |
| pretend happiness. You can mention a problem, as | | | | |