Pattaya Minus the Sleaze

PattayaThe Million-Year Stone Park and Crocodile Farm
 World famous for its girly bars, Pattaya hasfeatures a rare species zoo, and crocodile,
recently diversified and is trying to become one offire-swallowing and magic shows. Great for the kids,
the best family destinations in Thailand, living abut about as exciting as watching paint dry for their
somewhat schizophrenic life as a night-timeparents.
bacchanalia and day-time fun park.Mini Siam features miniature replicas of iconic
The beaches are somewhat lackluster by Thaistructures. Thai structures include the Temple of the
standards and rampant over-development has longEmerald Buddha and the Bridge over the River Kwai,
since destroyed Pataya’s natural charms, but itswhilst replicas of the Tower Bridge of London, Eiffel
huge range of facilities and convenient access fromTower, the Statue of Liberty and Trevi Fountain are
the capital’s Suvarnabhumi Airport make it adisplayed in the section called ‘miniworld’.
good destination for families who have only a shortPirom Submarine. Visitors board the submarine from
time in the kingdom. For adults who have come tothe nearby island of Koh Sak: not for the
party Pattaya is the place to be, with its kicking barsclaustrophobic.
and clubs of all descriptions and with the riotousness
scored to pretty much whatever soundtrack youEntertainment
fancy, from the middle-aged to the manic.Pattaya’s 3 huge multiplex cinemas are air
Beachesconditioned back to arctic temperatures, so bring a
The main Pattaya Beach is a crowded and relativelylong sleeve shirt, or jacket, or both. Some
narrow strip of sand that runs along the city centreEnglish-language films will be dubbed into Thai with no
and pulses with life. The street along the beach,English subtitles, which can be disappointing for adults
Walking Street, comes alive with rock music as theand cause a minor riot from the children. Cinema
sun sets and the night-owls wake up and come outpatrons must stand during the King's anthem. For
to play. In a country populated by people who lovesome reason singing along by Thai-speaking
to party, Pattaya’s Walking Street is probablyforeigners is generally frowned upon: maybe it’s
the wildest and most frenetic party-zone in thebecause they are likely to get the tones wrong and
country, except on full moon nights, when Kohsing something completely inappropriate which, whilst
Phangan’s Hat Rin beach takes the number oneit would usually be regarded as hilarious, is anything
spot.but when the revered royal family is involved.
Jomtien Beach, which has grainier sand, is separatedSports
from the main Pattaya Bay by a hill and is moreWhilst the fishing and scuba diving are not amongst
popular among family vacationers, due to its slightlythe country’s best, the golf is. There are more
calmer atmosphere and to its childrens’than 20 courses within an hour's drive of Pattaya,
amusement park. Wong Phrachan Beach, situated tomany designed by some of golf's most famous
the north of Pattaya Beach, is a favourite amongnames, including Nick Faldo (Great Lakes), Jack
swimmers.Nicklaus (Laem Chabang), Gary Player (Sri Racha) and
Pattaya's main beaches are popular and busy placesRobert Trent Jones (Eastern Star Resort and
where activities include banana-boat riding, jet-skiing,Country Club). Laem Chabang International Country
water-skiing, parasailing and windsurfing. For thoseClub is considered the finest golf course in the area
more interested in inactivities there are acres of sandand is ranked in Thailand’s Top 3 best courses.
jam-packed with recliners and umbrellas and servicedSome of the sporting possibilities are aerobics,
by an army of usually polite but tenacious hawkersaqua-aerobics, badminton, billiards/pool/snooker,
offering everything from food to massage, manicurebowling, bridge, bungee jumping, cycling, flying,
pedicure, tattoos, lottery tickets, newspapers, herbs,paragliding & skydiving, horseback riding, hot air
flowers, gems, perfumes, CD’s and sunglasses.ballooning, jet-skiing, motorsports, Thai boxing.
It's a bit like TV shopping: as soon as you've declinedpaintball, parachute rides, sailing, shooting, swimming,
one offer, it's time to consider another. Eventuallytennis, waterskiing & wakeboarding, windsurfing
you buy a pair of very dark sunglasses and then& kiteboarding.
pretend to be asleep. It’s best to visit the
beaches only after the beach cleaners have disposedShopping
of the previous night’s detritus, which can includePattaya has a veritable trolley-load of malls and
potentially deadly needles. There are severalsupermarkets, but is not a good place to buy hi-tech
well-frequented but pleasant islands nearby.products such as cameras, computers, etc - expect
high prices. Beware of buying fake perfume, as this
Attractionsmay be confiscated by customs officers at the
Underwater World is an aquarium where visitors walkairport where, in 2007 and in front of press cameras,
along a 105 metre transparent-sided underwaterfive tons of counterfeit designer perfume were
tunnel through 4 separate zones. The first zonecrushed by a bulldozer. The driver got sick of all the
displays pretty and exotic fish that would, if notstrange looks he got on his way home, and hurried
separated, be eaten as afternoon nibbles by theback to shower. Of the many bazaar-style markets
sharks in the second zone. The highlight of the thirdin Pattaya where you can haggle till you drop, Made
zone is the turtles darting in and out of an artificialIn Thailand Night Bazaar is perhaps the most fun. In
shipwreck, whilst the fourth zone holds some giantTypically Thai fashion, despite its name, it is open
Amazonian monster-fish.daily from 8am and also sells foreign products. The
Pattaya Elephant Village. Although it’s a bitreputation of the city’s art galleries is up with
disconcerting to see the gentle giants languishing in athat of the best in Thailand, with KC Gallery on
city, this a mandatory stop for parents, as theWalking Street and Narai Art Gallery (Soi 6,
children will love, among other exhibits, thePhratamnak Road) being the best at the time of
pachyderm football and the war parade.going to print.