| Christmas comes early each year to our normally | | | | sure that you have countless cases of ice cold Coors |
| quiet community here in Homestead, Florida. Santa's | | | | Light, Budweiser, and Jack Daniels, on hand. |
| come by the droves, not in sleighs, but in RVs, and | | | | With all the drinking going on, it is a wonder to me |
| campers, and pick-up trucks. They come here each | | | | how they can even find the race track, let alone |
| year to watch the last NASCAR race of the year; | | | | keep track of how many left turns their favorite |
| the one that decides the NASCAR champion, The | | | | driver Billy Bob Kyle has successfully negotiated but, |
| Homestead-Miami Ford 400. These Santa's don't | | | | they do. In fact, they really get into the race. Many |
| come with a bag of presents, but with pockets full | | | | of them rent out head sets so they can listen in on |
| of cash. It is a welcome influx of cash for the hotels, | | | | the communication going back and forth from the pit |
| shops, trailer parks, and bars of Homestead, and | | | | crew chief, and the driver. Crackle, static "hey, that |
| Florida City. | | | | was a real impressive left turn yew made back |
| My wife, who tends a bar in Florida City, looks | | | | there, Jimmy Joe Don, now be careful, 'cus yew got |
| forward to this big three day party every year. | | | | another one coming up right quick" Crackle, pop |
| After bar tending here the last five years, she knows | | | | "yeah Benny Earl Ray, the car's running real smooth |
| that these folks love to drink, party, and lavish her | | | | right now, hold on, gotta another one of them left |
| with piles of dough; and there are few things she | | | | turns coming up." Sheer excitement! |
| likes more than making lots of money. | | | | I'm not really big on NASCAR racing; just five |
| The average NASCAR fan won't win many Nobel | | | | minutes of watching these guys going around in |
| Prizes, or even spelling bees in their lifetime; but they | | | | circles puts me in a trance. But, as long as they keep |
| remember her little bar, and they even remember | | | | coming down here every year with pockets full of |
| her name, so it is like a big reunion for everyone. | | | | cash, we'll be glad to welcome them here. "Hey, |
| These folks may be a little grubby, and their smiles | | | | Kenny Jeb Kirk, how the hell are yew? Its good to |
| remind you of a gap toothed jack-o-lantern; but they | | | | see yew agin! Did yew bring your sister? |
| are usually well behaved, and very generous. Just be | | | | |