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Article #153: Do Sex And Love Mix?

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Sex and making love are not the same was still taken: most couples, who don't
In a recent Today Show, Donny Deutsch experience emotional intimacy, have
surveyed women on affairs of the heart. unsatisfying sex lives. Emotional
There was something important to learn intimacy is like a 7/24 foreplay. When we
about women and sex: feel really close to each other, the
- Sex doesn't happen just like that mental foreplay never stops. Your mind is
- Foreplay starts way before you hit the intimately connected all the time. Many
bedroom couples have lost that connection and
- Emotional cheating is no different than often end up living like roommates. The
physical cheating message: make your partner and your
For the majority of women having sex is relationship a priority. Make an effort
not equal to making love. The prevailing to be close. This is one secret of many
attitude in our society is: let there be happy couples. Have the courage to be
sex at the end of the tunnel, I don't really close. Let each other in all the
care about the light! Yet, for most way, not just to the front door.Emotional
women, there is a profound difference cheating is no different than physical
between just having sex and making love. cheating
Sex is about you, making love is about Is fantasizing about another person
both of you. When you just have sex, your normal or harmful to your partner?
partner becomes the means to an end - Whatever your viewpoint may be 70% of
this is enough to make any woman feel women believe that emotional infidelity
lousy! Women are bombarded with sex is the same as physical cheating. The
advice on how to do it right and looking same women also believe that emotional
good while they do it. Much of this cheating leads to physical cheating. This
advice is missing an important point: is a big issue! One woman on the Today
emotional intimacy. The good news: most Show said: " I am not getting from my
women are natural experts at sex. The bad husband what he is giving to someone
news: too often women's sex lives leave else." What exactly is emotional
much to be desired on an emotional cheating? It is having sexual or romantic
level.Sex doesn't happen just like that fantasies about someone other than your
Anne loves her husband George, but she partner or relating intimately to someone
has become rather disinterested in sex the way you should relate to your
with him. "If she loves me, why doesn't partner. It could also be telling someone
she want to have sex?" George wonders. what you should be telling your partner.
Most evenings when George comes home, he Pierre, a regular at the local strip
is stressed, irritated and critical of joint, enjoys flirting with other women
the kids and Anne. As one woman put it on and never misses a Playboy issue. He
the Today Show: "It's like after you couldn't understand why his girlfriend
kicked your dog. Do you think the dog Kate was so offended. After all he didn't
wants to come back to be petted?" Anne, have sex with anyone else. Kate
who has taken George's brunt all evening, eventually left. She could no longer be
is emotionally unable to make love. She with someone who is half-heartedly
is not willing to just have sex for the involved. When your mind or heart strays
sake of peace. The message: like so many you are committing emotional infidelity.
of us, George and Anne need to connect You are taking your emotional and sexual
emotionally again. Without emotional energy away from your partner to someone
intimacy it will be very quiet in the else. The message: you must focus on your
bedroom. The longer couples ignore this relationship not elsewhere.
issue, the wider the emotional gap will As Mary O'Hara said: "Love cannot survive
become. For those unable to bridge this if you give it scraps of yourself, scraps
gap, professional advice is in of your time and scraps of your
order.Foreplay starts way before you hit thoughts."
the bedroom Note from the author: this is an article
The women on the Today's show weren't you should put right in the face of your
precise as to how soon before hitting the husband or boyfriend.
bedroom foreplay should begin. The point






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