Corporate Name Dropping Champions

Now that Christmas is past, the New Year has begunteams each of which has a list of sponsors that
and college football is over, it can only mean onewould make a Madison Avenue executive wet his
thing- the Daytona 500 and a new season ofpants with excitement. In fact, I'd go so far as to
NASCAR racing is right around the corner. I love thesay the only way they could go beyond where they
smell of the exhaust, the thunder of the engines, theare now would be to hire Billy Mays as a driver.
bits of rubber flying off the track, the corporateThese folks will, no doubt, plug sponsors and the list
sponsorships. Uh, come again? That's right, corporateof sponsors grows ever lengthy. If you've never paid
sponsorships. As much as I love racing, the blatantany attention to it, then make a conscious effort to
and downright shameless plugging of sponsors is solisten to any given driver interview during any given
prevalent that it has become its own form ofrace and enjoy the show.
entertainment. I mean, they make fun of"First of all I'd like to thank God and all my sponsors
themselves, for crying out loud, so you know it hasfor giving me a fast race car today. The GMC Auto
to be bad.manufacturers, Mopar, Quakerstate, Tollhouse
I know that the corporate buck makes the world goChocolate Chip Cookies Chevrolet was just
around and there is no dodging it, so I don't even tryawesome. I think a Loctite lugnut must have come
to fight it anymore. I was contemplating during thisoff, causing us to loose a Goodyear Eagle tire. That
years college football bowl season how you used tosent us spinning like Hamilton Beach blender into the
be able to tell something about the region where aQuickcrete Fast Drying concrete retaining wall. Thank
bowl game was held merely by its name. The Sugargoodness for NASCARs dedication to safety and for
Bowl, Cotton Bowl, Orange Bowl, Peach Bowl, andthe installation of those Dow Chemical Styrofoam
even the Mobile, Alabama bowl all conjure up someand U.S Steel, Charmin soft walls. I pinched a hole in
image. Some are maybe not so grand images, butmy Fruit of the Loom shorts and nearly stained my
images nonetheless. Now you can't tell squat exceptSimpson driver suit. I'd have dumped a gallon of
for whose product is being marketed. It's not onlysweat in the process if it weren't for this Right Guard
college ball games, though. Stadiums far and wide, forantiperspirant. In fact, I'm still hotter than Texas Pete
teams professional and non-professional sport ahot sauce and my mouth's as dry as Johnson and
name, product and/ or service which isJohnson Baby Powder so excuse me while I take a
representative of the ones who coughed up enoughsip of this Gatorade G2. There, that's better. Other
denarii in order to obtain the opportunity to havethan that it was a good day for us at the Lowes
their name flouted to all who dare look upon it. IMotor Speedway, but we'll be back next week at
know this to be true and I accept it as being how itthe Atlanta Coca-Cola Speedway for sure. What was
is.the question again?"
Let me just tell you, though, that the folks inAwesome. Last year there were a series of
NASCAR have taken it to a whole new level. Therecommercials about using one of the driver's armpits
isn't a sport out there that can come close toas advertising space. It was sponsored by Old Spice,
touching them in the world of hawking products.of course. I can't wait to see where that goes this
During a ball game you may see a sponsor's logoyear. Let's all hope, however, that the folks from
superimposed on the field or something innocuous likePreparation-H don't take the idea and run with it.
that. For each NASCAR race, though, there are 43Ooh, baby, that could be a disaster.