| Feel that rising tide of anger? Surf's
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| | shop.With all our blood rushing to our
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| up! Start paddling.Whenever we feel angry
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| | extremities, our brains are getting the
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| or frustrated, we get a blast of
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| | leftovers. This is the worst possible
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| adrenalin coursing through our
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| | time for us to be logical. When we're
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| bloodstream. In the fight or flight
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| | angry and that adrenalin is surging,
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| response to stress, our bodies rely on
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| | we're far more likely to say things we'll
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| our appendages. We need to hit, kick,
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| | regret and to make decisions that will
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| jump or run away, and our bodies help out
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| | have us shaking our heads later. If you
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| by sending extra blood to our limbs.If we
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| | react verbally or respond intellectually
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| were living in the wild and had to
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| | in that adrenalin moment, you're going to
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| actually fight off a predator or run away
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| | have some clean-up in aisle 12 later--
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| to escape, this would make perfect sense.
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| | apologies and general repair of
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| But in a typical day, we just don't need
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| | relationships and projects.Most of us
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| those survival mechanisms like we used
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| | have learned that we need to step back
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| to. In fact, we do our best to thwart our
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| | when we're really upset in order to avoid
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| body's response to stress by suppressing
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| | making a mess of things. Here's something
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| our physical reactions.Oh, sure, we still
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| | you may not know: it takes a full 90
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| use our extremities to express our anger.
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| | minutes for your body to get back to
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| We raise our fists, pound on the desk,
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| | normal after experiencing a blast of
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| slam doors or cupboards, kick the garbage
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| | adrenalin.Ninety minutes. That means that
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| can, or stomp our feet. Still, since
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| | a simple "time-out" for your child isn't
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| we're trying to be civilized and all, we
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| | likely to relax him, and postponing that
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| use words more than body parts to react
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| | important meeting for 10 minutes while
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| to whatever upsets us. This is good in
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| | you cool down isn't going to guarantee
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| that we don't want to go around hitting
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| | that you'll be fully capable of handling
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| people. Slugging your boss may be
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| | your issue in a level headed way.If you
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| biological, but it won't get you too far
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| | really want to take advantage of your
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| in your corporate climb.So, instead of
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| | body's natural mechanism for survival,
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| the fight or flight response our
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| | you might as well learn to work with it.
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| predecessors relied upon, we've developed
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| | The good news is that, with a little
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| more of what I call an "explode or
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| | flexibility, we can use our physiology to
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| seethe" response. Some of us react right
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| | help us thrive and even make us
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| away when we're upset. We clench our
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| | healthier.You've got to move, and you've
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| fists, do some wild gesticulating, raise
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| | got to breathe. Isn't it convenient that
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| our voices, or slam the phone down.
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| | those two go together so well?Here are
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| Others tend to seethe. We suck in our
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| | the four best strategies for surfing your
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| breath, count to ten, hold it, and keep
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| | adrenalin wave: *Paddle. Your arms and
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| our frustration covered by a tight smile
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| | legs need movement, so look for
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| or maybe a little gasp of exasperation,
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| | acceptable ways to get active. Go to the
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| but that's about it.There's also the
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| | restroom and do some jumping jacks if you
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| classic combo of the seether/exploder.
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| | can't sneak away for a walk or head to
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| You know the type: they just keep their
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| | the gym for a workout. Move some boxes.
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| heads down, don't say a word, and then
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| | Sort the recycling. Reshelve some books.
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| out of the blue they go into a tirade
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| | Beat the rugs. Shake out the comforters.
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| that rattles the roof.It's interesting
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| | Go for a run. Crank up your stereo and
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| that we consider a seether as more
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| | dance with the kids in the living room.
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| evolved than an exploder. We value those
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| | Jump on the exercise bike or go cycling
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| who are able to keep their emotions in
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| | around the neighborhood. Walk to another
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| check. In our culture, the seethers are
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| | part of the building. Find a corner and
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| the "nice" people who surprise us by
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| | do some push-ups. Activate those
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| keeling over from a heart attack or
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| | appendages!*Laugh. When we're angry, our
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| stroke. We've been programmed to sit and
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| | bellies tighten up. We take shallow
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| seethe. It's as though we're stepping on
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| | breaths at the chest level. This just
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| the gas (adrenalin) and slamming on the
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| | adds to the brain drain! We need to relax
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| brakes (inactivity) at the same time. Try
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| | enough that our bellies can move freely
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| doing that in your car, and you'll burn
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| | as we breathe, and if we don't get that
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| up your engine. That's what we're doing
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| | by doing some cardio that makes us huff
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| to our bodies.What do we do after a hard
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| | and puff, the next best thing is to
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| day? We sit and watch television. We play
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| | laugh. Get a laugh partner, and agree to
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| video games. We go to a movie. We
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| | call and guffaw--no talking allowed. Bust
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| collapse on the sofa and listen to music.
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| | a gut, and breathe deeply.*Sing. You need
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| We go out to eat and drink.We've
| |
| | some serious exhalations, so jump in the
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| eliminated a lot of the activity of daily
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| | shower and blast out your favorite power
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| life. We don't scrub floors, churn
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| | ballad. Get in your car and sing along
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| butter, wash clothes by hand, hoe the
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| | with the radio. Releasing sound is
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| garden, walk everywhere, or otherwise
| |
| | therapeutic in itself. Throw in some
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| eliminate our stress through regular
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| | dance moves, and you've got it
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| movement. We sit in our cars, sit at our
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| | covered!*Avoid meditation. Ignore what
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| desks, and sit in front of the
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| | you've heard about thinking through your
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| television. It's no wonder we're obese
| |
| | anger. Mindfulness is immensely valuable,
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| and suffering from the effects of
| |
| | but trying to meditate when you're really
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| stress!The sit-and-seethe starts early.
| |
| | angry is not realistic or helpful. Be
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| Consider a two-year- old having a
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| | active first, and then sit. The only way
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| tantrum. Picture a little body flailing
| |
| | to handle that adrenalin in a healthy way
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| about, all arms and legs. That's
| |
| | is to engage physically. You've got to be
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| adrenalin in all its glory! No
| |
| | calm to be mindful. Get control of
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| suppression of instincts, just a pure,
| |
| | yourself physically before using your
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| unadulterated expression of physiology at
| |
| | mind to address a problem.Next time you
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| work.We can't have kids growing up and
| |
| | get mad, get moving.Work with your body
|
| throwing tantrums. It's just not socially
| |
| | instead of against it. Learn to surf that
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| acceptable. So, we give the two- year-old
| |
| | adrenalin wave, and you'll become a
|
| a "time out" to cool off. This is like
| |
| | better decision maker, a more relaxed
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| asking a charging bull to sit and sip a
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| | parent, and a healthier human.
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| bit of tea in that proverbial china
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| |
|
