| Feel that rising tide of anger? Surf's up! Start | | | | shop.With all our blood rushing to our extremities, our |
| paddling.Whenever we feel angry or frustrated, we | | | | brains are getting the leftovers. This is the worst |
| get a blast of adrenalin coursing through our | | | | possible time for us to be logical. When we're angry |
| bloodstream. In the fight or flight response to stress, | | | | and that adrenalin is surging, we're far more likely to |
| our bodies rely on our appendages. We need to hit, | | | | say things we'll regret and to make decisions that will |
| kick, jump or run away, and our bodies help out by | | | | have us shaking our heads later. If you react verbally |
| sending extra blood to our limbs.If we were living in | | | | or respond intellectually in that adrenalin moment, |
| the wild and had to actually fight off a predator or | | | | you're going to have some clean-up in aisle 12 later-- |
| run away to escape, this would make perfect sense. | | | | apologies and general repair of relationships and |
| But in a typical day, we just don't need those survival | | | | projects.Most of us have learned that we need to |
| mechanisms like we used to. In fact, we do our best | | | | step back when we're really upset in order to avoid |
| to thwart our body's response to stress by | | | | making a mess of things. Here's something you may |
| suppressing our physical reactions.Oh, sure, we still | | | | not know: it takes a full 90 minutes for your body to |
| use our extremities to express our anger. We raise | | | | get back to normal after experiencing a blast of |
| our fists, pound on the desk, slam doors or | | | | adrenalin.Ninety minutes. That means that a simple |
| cupboards, kick the garbage can, or stomp our feet. | | | | "time-out" for your child isn't likely to relax him, and |
| Still, since we're trying to be civilized and all, we use | | | | postponing that important meeting for 10 minutes |
| words more than body parts to react to whatever | | | | while you cool down isn't going to guarantee that |
| upsets us. This is good in that we don't want to go | | | | you'll be fully capable of handling your issue in a level |
| around hitting people. Slugging your boss may be | | | | headed way.If you really want to take advantage of |
| biological, but it won't get you too far in your | | | | your body's natural mechanism for survival, you might |
| corporate climb.So, instead of the fight or flight | | | | as well learn to work with it. The good news is that, |
| response our predecessors relied upon, we've | | | | with a little flexibility, we can use our physiology to |
| developed more of what I call an "explode or | | | | help us thrive and even make us healthier.You've got |
| seethe" response. Some of us react right away when | | | | to move, and you've got to breathe. Isn't it |
| we're upset. We clench our fists, do some wild | | | | convenient that those two go together so well?Here |
| gesticulating, raise our voices, or slam the phone | | | | are the four best strategies for surfing your adrenalin |
| down. Others tend to seethe. We suck in our breath, | | | | wave: *Paddle. Your arms and legs need movement, |
| count to ten, hold it, and keep our frustration | | | | so look for acceptable ways to get active. Go to the |
| covered by a tight smile or maybe a little gasp of | | | | restroom and do some jumping jacks if you can't |
| exasperation, but that's about it.There's also the | | | | sneak away for a walk or head to the gym for a |
| classic combo of the seether/exploder. You know | | | | workout. Move some boxes. Sort the recycling. |
| the type: they just keep their heads down, don't say | | | | Reshelve some books. Beat the rugs. Shake out the |
| a word, and then out of the blue they go into a | | | | comforters. Go for a run. Crank up your stereo and |
| tirade that rattles the roof.It's interesting that we | | | | dance with the kids in the living room. Jump on the |
| consider a seether as more evolved than an | | | | exercise bike or go cycling around the neighborhood. |
| exploder. We value those who are able to keep their | | | | Walk to another part of the building. Find a corner |
| emotions in check. In our culture, the seethers are | | | | and do some push-ups. Activate those |
| the "nice" people who surprise us by keeling over | | | | appendages!*Laugh. When we're angry, our bellies |
| from a heart attack or stroke. We've been | | | | tighten up. We take shallow breaths at the chest |
| programmed to sit and seethe. It's as though we're | | | | level. This just adds to the brain drain! We need to |
| stepping on the gas (adrenalin) and slamming on the | | | | relax enough that our bellies can move freely as we |
| brakes (inactivity) at the same time. Try doing that in | | | | breathe, and if we don't get that by doing some |
| your car, and you'll burn up your engine. That's what | | | | cardio that makes us huff and puff, the next best |
| we're doing to our bodies.What do we do after a | | | | thing is to laugh. Get a laugh partner, and agree to call |
| hard day? We sit and watch television. We play video | | | | and guffaw--no talking allowed. Bust a gut, and |
| games. We go to a movie. We collapse on the sofa | | | | breathe deeply.*Sing. You need some serious |
| and listen to music. We go out to eat and | | | | exhalations, so jump in the shower and blast out |
| drink.We've eliminated a lot of the activity of daily life. | | | | your favorite power ballad. Get in your car and sing |
| We don't scrub floors, churn butter, wash clothes by | | | | along with the radio. Releasing sound is therapeutic in |
| hand, hoe the garden, walk everywhere, or | | | | itself. Throw in some dance moves, and you've got it |
| otherwise eliminate our stress through regular | | | | covered!*Avoid meditation. Ignore what you've heard |
| movement. We sit in our cars, sit at our desks, and | | | | about thinking through your anger. Mindfulness is |
| sit in front of the television. It's no wonder we're | | | | immensely valuable, but trying to meditate when |
| obese and suffering from the effects of stress!The | | | | you're really angry is not realistic or helpful. Be active |
| sit-and-seethe starts early. Consider a two-year- old | | | | first, and then sit. The only way to handle that |
| having a tantrum. Picture a little body flailing about, all | | | | adrenalin in a healthy way is to engage physically. |
| arms and legs. That's adrenalin in all its glory! No | | | | You've got to be calm to be mindful. Get control of |
| suppression of instincts, just a pure, unadulterated | | | | yourself physically before using your mind to address |
| expression of physiology at work.We can't have kids | | | | a problem.Next time you get mad, get moving.Work |
| growing up and throwing tantrums. It's just not | | | | with your body instead of against it. Learn to surf |
| socially acceptable. So, we give the two- year-old a | | | | that adrenalin wave, and you'll become a better |
| "time out" to cool off. This is like asking a charging | | | | decision maker, a more relaxed parent, and a |
| bull to sit and sip a bit of tea in that proverbial china | | | | healthier human. |